First Contact

Yesterday marks the first time we were contacted by a recruiter (basically contracted social workers) for a child we did not know about. This is a good thing in a general sense; we wanted to get our name out there so that this exact thing could happen. There is a six month old girl available in Oregon, and this woman thought of us. The tricky thing is that the baby's birth parents and siblings/half-siblings (already adopted separately) have or show evidence of various health concerns that are difficult, if not impossible, to diagnose in a 6 month old baby.

So what happens is that first the recruiter gave us a small sampling of the information she had in her initial email. We replied that we were interested in more info, and she gave us the rest of what she had. But she's just a recruiter; so this afternoon (after consulting a few people) we decided to agree to submitting our home study to the baby's social worker. That worker will give us just a little bit more information, and then when they're done waiting for home study submissions they'll choose three or so (depends on the state) as finalists who will get a lot more information. The baby will be going through formal developmental evaluations "in August" (meaning 3 weeks or 7, we don't know) to determine if she needs any diagnoses or meds or whatever. At that point, if we're still in the running, we'll be able to know the results of that evaluation... I think. We can back out at any time... I think they're less strict about visitations and whatnot when the child is younger, so that's in our favor... especially since she's across the country... but again, depends on the state.

That's what's up right now. We're walking the balance of wanting to hope but not allowing it because there's so many variables and enough concerns to weigh in the situation, but quite a few things in its favor that we hadn't expected to open to us. Please pump up the prayer volume while we're "proceeding with extreme caution", both emotionally and with the actual paperwork and decision making.

God-appointed Agency

We have so many options available to us through this whole thing. One option we have is to purchase our home study from Bethany and go to another agency (different programs or prices) or try to do it all on our own with the help of an adoption lawyer. In the evening I was thinking and praying about a couple of other agencies I'd heard about and thought I might do some research, but then never got around to it.

Before bed I was having my devotions. I'm reading Matthew right now, I was on chapter 21. Keep in mind that although I've read this before and I know the overall plot, I don't have it all memorized, so I usually don't know what verse is coming next. I read a verse about children which made me pause and think about the adoption again (just from the topic, it wasn't a directional kind of verse). I prayed that, even though this chapter didn't seem to directly apply, God would use it to show us direction. I thought of the agency option momentarily, ("Hey, God, what do You think about this idea?") and then re-focused to read this:

"Then [Jesus] left them and went out of the city to Bethany*, and He lodged there." (v. 17)

Oh, okay then, I'll quit looking elsewhere. Thanks, God!



*for those of you just tuning in, although Bethany is a town in Bible times, it's also the name of our agency.

Ideas from Father Mike and two quotes

1. It's rarely coincidence when two people prayerfully making one decision come to the same conclusions independently.

2. Not only does God not want us to commit our lives to misery (even if we're equipped to physically handle it), He promises to give us the desires of our hearts. Being specific in the child we want is okay. If He wants to change something about that, He can do it.

3. We need to gather more information. We've already been talking to folks about the adoption process and how it worked for them, but I don't recall conversing on the specifics of how they reached their decisions. Also, since we have the option to choose different paths, information regarding those paths may be helpful.

4. Regarding my hearing God say "She's not ready yet", Mike's first inclination was to agree that it most likely meant a child based on the situation I was in when I prayed about it. He also pointed out (without me saying so first) that it didn't say "Stop", and that in his experience God is often clear about something as specific as "Stop".

5. If our prayer does not seem to be answered, it may be that God is waiting for us to pray the right prayer. It may not be about the answer, it may be about how we are relating to Him. My experience has proven that to be the case quite a lot, and it's a perspective I hadn't considered.

I feel like he said a lot more than that, but I'm processing slowly... as we continue to pray and talk, I'll try to add what I've forgotten to this list.

Lanse's Aunt Liz pointed the family towards a blog by church folks who went to Rwanda. Though Mr. (Dr.? Rev.?) Greener said the following while en route to Africa, it really felt appropriate for the topic of adoption as well:

• Anticipation is actually a part of all journeys worth making. It’s not wasted time (unless we waste it) but is part of the discipline of orienteering—of getting our bearings before we launch. It’s a season of collecting our strength and focus and desire, while learning that we are ultimately not in control. So we wait for love to blossom, for the child to come, for the job offer, for healing and wholeness to be known, for ends and beginnings—the best things can’t be rushed or demanded, but they can be anticipated. ~Jay Greener, Redeemer Church

Elsewhere in the blog he quoted an African proverb, which I've added to my sidebar. In the whole mess of worry and searching, of seeking God's will for the future and piling on anxiety over interpretations, we can get so caught up that we miss the excitement and the joy found in the present. So in the words of the wisdom of Africa,

"Waiting should not keep you from dancing."

I urge those of you who are waiting for any reason to please join me in remembering to dance, at least a little bit.