Well, Bert's called the Fire Marshal three times in the last two weeks and can't get through to schedule the inspection. She intends to try one more time, and if we still can't get put on his calendar, she'll call his boss the Fire Chief and get him to put the squeeze on. She was told when she called that there is only one Fire Marshal for 8 counties, or at least the one that we need has 8 counties, and we have to talk directly to him to get on his schedule... so you could understand why he's been hard to reach.
Adoption Related Prayer Requests:
1. Fire Marshal will answer the phone.
2. He'll have an available slot NOW (though, next week is okay too), or if there's a cancellation they will give us the slot.
I feel the pressure for speed all of the sudden. This could be hormonal, could be part of my previous post about the desperate ache of motherhood needs... but it could also be an intuitive gut thing that I get sometimes that's almost always right and says, "OK... GO!" Therefore...
3. If speed is God's Will, He'll do it fast and now; if it is not His Will, if we need to wait for our child to be ready, that He'll chill me out and calm me down.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Details
Here's more details for you.
She was here about 1/2 an hour, came in and asked to see the kitchen, checked the water temp, asked to see the kid's bath and bedroom (loved the decor!), checked our potential second bedroom (if we needed it as a bedroom we'd move the office upstairs), took a backyard tour, and we were good to go. She didn't even enter the rooms we had really stressed out over! Also, we'd been really stressed out about our cats' worse habits, but she herself has 5 cats and 2 dogs and was all, "Meh, you do what you gotta do."
Sat down and filled out the paperwork; we did have one change to make from what the agency had sent them, but it's not a big deal. We had asked the agency that our bottom age range be "Walking... which is, what? Like... 2? Ish?" and she definitively wrote AGE 2 on the sheet. We wanted more flexibility... my niece just started walking and she's only 11 months. So with our approval the inspector decided to inspect for the 0 - 6 range, so we'll have to sort everyone out and get them all on the same page. Which is fine.
We're approved as-is, since the only thing that needs addressing we had already planned to address.... we had some damage to the play set. So we're good to go!
Now we just have to impress the Fire Marshal. *grin*
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers everyone!
She was here about 1/2 an hour, came in and asked to see the kitchen, checked the water temp, asked to see the kid's bath and bedroom (loved the decor!), checked our potential second bedroom (if we needed it as a bedroom we'd move the office upstairs), took a backyard tour, and we were good to go. She didn't even enter the rooms we had really stressed out over! Also, we'd been really stressed out about our cats' worse habits, but she herself has 5 cats and 2 dogs and was all, "Meh, you do what you gotta do."
Sat down and filled out the paperwork; we did have one change to make from what the agency had sent them, but it's not a big deal. We had asked the agency that our bottom age range be "Walking... which is, what? Like... 2? Ish?" and she definitively wrote AGE 2 on the sheet. We wanted more flexibility... my niece just started walking and she's only 11 months. So with our approval the inspector decided to inspect for the 0 - 6 range, so we'll have to sort everyone out and get them all on the same page. Which is fine.
We're approved as-is, since the only thing that needs addressing we had already planned to address.... we had some damage to the play set. So we're good to go!
Now we just have to impress the Fire Marshal. *grin*
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers everyone!
Inspection PASSED!
It went GREAT!! She wasn't here long, just asked to see the kitchen, kid's room and bath, and the backyard; she has a whole lot of pets herself and wasn't phased at all about ours... amazing. Lovely.
I'm gonna go fall down now. I'll post more details later. Promise.
I'm gonna go fall down now. I'll post more details later. Promise.
Ready?
I think.... we're... maybe ready? Pretty sure ready? We've got just about two hours, and I'm not sure if we're ready. I've saved our to-do lists in our adoption binder; when we're all set and done with everything and start putting a life book together for our child (like a scrapbook) I'll set them all out and take a picture. Aaaaaallll the many many lists of things. The very last thing on my list is to make another list! Literally... I need to make a list of emergency numbers to put by the phone. Which I will finish when I'm done with this post.
So. Just a few more tiny things and we'll actually be prepared to open the door to the inspector at 11:30ish. Keep praying!!
So. Just a few more tiny things and we'll actually be prepared to open the door to the inspector at 11:30ish. Keep praying!!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Gnawing
Anyone who's lived in an area where it snows a lot during the winter understands that feeling that comes around February. The one where it feels like there's something in that space between your stomach and your throat kind of gnawing away and if you don't get to go play in the grassy yard RIGHT NOW you'll explode. It's the house-bound ache that can start to drive you out of your mind if you live somewhere that snows you in for six months of the year. I grew up in Minnesota so I'm familiar with that desperate crazy gnawing.
I never expected to feel that down here in "sunny" SC, half an hour from the beach. This time the ache's not caused by snow or cold or not being able to leave the house. It's still the same gnawing, in the same place... but it's caused by not yet having my children. I've wanted to be a mom... expected to become a mom... a couple of years after getting married. I started looking into adoption via Google at least two years before Lanse was ready to start discussing it. It took us another couple of years to get to the emotional place where we could make the first contact with an agency. And, according to the posts in this blog archive, we placed that call over two years ago. We will hopefully be done with the home study by the end of next month, and that's when the 'waiting' in adoption traditionally begins.
Everyone whose adopting stories I've read has expressed the huge amount of waiting that goes on through this process, but I had always interpreted the feelings as impatience or exasperation, or just a general intellectual annoyance at elapsing time. I really had no idea it would feel like this. Of course, having no recourse against it all I can do is analyze and try to figure out why I feel so weighed down and suffocated with this desire of motherhood; I know I don't need to have my own children to survive, or anything desperate like that. We've done rather well as a couple with cats making it into our mid 30s. I'm studying to be a teacher, and I know that fulfills me. So why this horrible ache for my own?
My child, should you ever read this, know that you are wanted. I want you so desperately that sometimes it hurts in my heart that I have to wait for you to come. I love you so much already, and I don't even know who you are. But some day soon, we will be a family...
I never expected to feel that down here in "sunny" SC, half an hour from the beach. This time the ache's not caused by snow or cold or not being able to leave the house. It's still the same gnawing, in the same place... but it's caused by not yet having my children. I've wanted to be a mom... expected to become a mom... a couple of years after getting married. I started looking into adoption via Google at least two years before Lanse was ready to start discussing it. It took us another couple of years to get to the emotional place where we could make the first contact with an agency. And, according to the posts in this blog archive, we placed that call over two years ago. We will hopefully be done with the home study by the end of next month, and that's when the 'waiting' in adoption traditionally begins.
Everyone whose adopting stories I've read has expressed the huge amount of waiting that goes on through this process, but I had always interpreted the feelings as impatience or exasperation, or just a general intellectual annoyance at elapsing time. I really had no idea it would feel like this. Of course, having no recourse against it all I can do is analyze and try to figure out why I feel so weighed down and suffocated with this desire of motherhood; I know I don't need to have my own children to survive, or anything desperate like that. We've done rather well as a couple with cats making it into our mid 30s. I'm studying to be a teacher, and I know that fulfills me. So why this horrible ache for my own?
My child, should you ever read this, know that you are wanted. I want you so desperately that sometimes it hurts in my heart that I have to wait for you to come. I love you so much already, and I don't even know who you are. But some day soon, we will be a family...
Saturday, January 17, 2009
More preparing
Today has been very busy as a preparing day. We had a lot of rearranging stuff to do yet, furniture to buy and so forth, so we headed out to Walmart rather early (for a sleepy Saturday). Besides groceries we got a new file box with a lid that can lock, an enormous under-the-bed storage bin, a meat thermometer... I forget what else. We also added a couple things to the list for Lowes, which should happen tomorrow.
So we came home and got to work. I got Lanse's unused tackle box out (which works with the padlock) and went around collecting up all the fire-starting devices and the "sharps" (scissors and rotary cutters and the like). Packed up all the Christmas stuff that we'd dumped in the back room and was in the way of the closet, and Lanse took it to the attic. Then I moved all the sewing related things from the back room closet to the cabinetry in the bedroom, put my quilting cotton FQs in the bin under the bed, moved all the stuff from the sewing drawer in the living room into there as well, pretty much condensed everything. I also moved all of our active files into the new file box and got that set up.
While I did that, Lanse cleaned his bathroom (the main one), moved all the stuff from the porch to the shed that we'd put on the porch from the garage (Thanks Jen!), helped me take down and pack up some last minute Christmas stuff, and was available as my shifter to help me move bins and boxes from here-to-there and there-to-upstairs.
We also used the meat thermometer to check the temperature of the hot water at the tap. Required temp for the inspection is 120 degrees or less (which is annoying, because our dishwasher says that it needs 120 or more). In the kitchen it came out at 128; we still have to check the bathroom, which I'll do when I get up to go to bed. So we have the original water heater (10 years old?) that we need to change the temp on, without a manual. Lanse poked around and says it looks like it's set for 130, so it does get colder as it comes along. It's also covered in "READ THE MANUAL" stickers. He agreed to wait until I've had one last long hot shower before trying to figure it out. He's so sweet.
Tomorrow: Church, and I assist in Sunday School with the 4 yr olds, trip to Lowes, mounting the fire escape routes and emergency numbers and all that around the house, organizing the upstairs junk closet, washing my bathroom, fixing the drain plugs in both bathroom sinks (they both broke in the same places one or two days apart from each other!), taking care of the leftover dead garden plants in the backyard, and then I have a paper to write.
What a trip tomorrow will be!
So we came home and got to work. I got Lanse's unused tackle box out (which works with the padlock) and went around collecting up all the fire-starting devices and the "sharps" (scissors and rotary cutters and the like). Packed up all the Christmas stuff that we'd dumped in the back room and was in the way of the closet, and Lanse took it to the attic. Then I moved all the sewing related things from the back room closet to the cabinetry in the bedroom, put my quilting cotton FQs in the bin under the bed, moved all the stuff from the sewing drawer in the living room into there as well, pretty much condensed everything. I also moved all of our active files into the new file box and got that set up.
While I did that, Lanse cleaned his bathroom (the main one), moved all the stuff from the porch to the shed that we'd put on the porch from the garage (Thanks Jen!), helped me take down and pack up some last minute Christmas stuff, and was available as my shifter to help me move bins and boxes from here-to-there and there-to-upstairs.
We also used the meat thermometer to check the temperature of the hot water at the tap. Required temp for the inspection is 120 degrees or less (which is annoying, because our dishwasher says that it needs 120 or more). In the kitchen it came out at 128; we still have to check the bathroom, which I'll do when I get up to go to bed. So we have the original water heater (10 years old?) that we need to change the temp on, without a manual. Lanse poked around and says it looks like it's set for 130, so it does get colder as it comes along. It's also covered in "READ THE MANUAL" stickers. He agreed to wait until I've had one last long hot shower before trying to figure it out. He's so sweet.
Tomorrow: Church, and I assist in Sunday School with the 4 yr olds, trip to Lowes, mounting the fire escape routes and emergency numbers and all that around the house, organizing the upstairs junk closet, washing my bathroom, fixing the drain plugs in both bathroom sinks (they both broke in the same places one or two days apart from each other!), taking care of the leftover dead garden plants in the backyard, and then I have a paper to write.
What a trip tomorrow will be!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Reaction observations
One of the huge emotional struggles that adopting parents have to push past when beginning the process is the fact that there are so many people out there having kids they don't want, or shouldn't have, and they're free to do so as they wish... when we have to be interviewed, tested, and approved by the government before we're "allowed" to be parents. Anger is a natural part of the process, but it's vital to have done as much dealing with it as possible before you begin interacting with your potential child, because they can sense moods and may read your anger as disapproval, or think you're angry with them. It's just not something the kids should have to deal with. Obviously, I do understand that our children will at some point deal with us being angry, but I'd like to keep my anger unrelated to the adoption process, since that's going to be the first and foremost Big Deal to the kids right now and won't help anyone if dealt with inappropriately.
Yesterday I was at church when I received the call from the county to schedule our health inspection. I'm trying to put all kinds of emotions into words here, and it's not working very well. Everything was... and still is... pretty overwhelming.
Overall, while I am very nervous, I'm mostly excited. Finally the process is moving forward. This is a wonderful thing! After calling Lanse and then calling my mom, I went down to tell the people who happened to be at church who are in my Bible study and always asks for updates. They were very excited for us! They are praying! This is good!
And then I went to find another friend who was working in the office, and someone else had just come in. Now, we're not keeping this a secret (obviously) so I didn't hesitate to share the news anyway. This other person asked what this inspection entails, and I explained what we have to do in general, what we got done for Bert's inspection, and what specifics we had left. Thinking back, my tone was a bit apologetic for some reason, like I was trying to convey 'yeah, this is kinda silly, but it's what we're doing.' So from that perspective, I guess I can understand her reaction. She looked at me with pity and a smile and, dripping with sarcasm, said, "I completely understand. Because, you know, my garage was completely childproof when I had my baby, and I padded my walls, too, just in case." Then she lost her sarcasm and in a very caring voice said how sorry she was that we had to deal with such incredible nonsense, etc.
So now I'm really angry again. Oddly, though, I'm angry with her and not the government, because her response made me angry. (That's rather circular...) I honestly thought I'd gotten over that part, and I'd moved on. I was excited about moving forward, glad that we had everything under control for next week's inspection... this is just What Must Be Done. But her response was like... someone with six kids who never suffered a drop of morning sickness watch her friend heaving into the toilet pregnant with her first and saying, "Isn't morning sickness awful? I'm so sorry." No one would even think of being that cruel.
Anyway, I'm angry and upset. I also realize that I shouldn't be; her reaction is exactly the same as our reactions to hearing we had to go through this. It's exactly what I should expect but for some reason I didn't, and it was like this huge heavy wet blanket over my excitement.
Yes, we're sorting and organizing, installing weird plastic devices, locking cabinets, cleaning the house to ridiculous extent. I am being observed, interviewed, and graded. I am not, however, throwing up for nine months, on oxygen or bed rest, eating pickle ice cream sandwiches, or looking forward to a tentative high-risk surgical birth. In the end, I'm pretty sure it'll be worth it.
Yesterday I was at church when I received the call from the county to schedule our health inspection. I'm trying to put all kinds of emotions into words here, and it's not working very well. Everything was... and still is... pretty overwhelming.
Overall, while I am very nervous, I'm mostly excited. Finally the process is moving forward. This is a wonderful thing! After calling Lanse and then calling my mom, I went down to tell the people who happened to be at church who are in my Bible study and always asks for updates. They were very excited for us! They are praying! This is good!
And then I went to find another friend who was working in the office, and someone else had just come in. Now, we're not keeping this a secret (obviously) so I didn't hesitate to share the news anyway. This other person asked what this inspection entails, and I explained what we have to do in general, what we got done for Bert's inspection, and what specifics we had left. Thinking back, my tone was a bit apologetic for some reason, like I was trying to convey 'yeah, this is kinda silly, but it's what we're doing.' So from that perspective, I guess I can understand her reaction. She looked at me with pity and a smile and, dripping with sarcasm, said, "I completely understand. Because, you know, my garage was completely childproof when I had my baby, and I padded my walls, too, just in case." Then she lost her sarcasm and in a very caring voice said how sorry she was that we had to deal with such incredible nonsense, etc.
So now I'm really angry again. Oddly, though, I'm angry with her and not the government, because her response made me angry. (That's rather circular...) I honestly thought I'd gotten over that part, and I'd moved on. I was excited about moving forward, glad that we had everything under control for next week's inspection... this is just What Must Be Done. But her response was like... someone with six kids who never suffered a drop of morning sickness watch her friend heaving into the toilet pregnant with her first and saying, "Isn't morning sickness awful? I'm so sorry." No one would even think of being that cruel.
Anyway, I'm angry and upset. I also realize that I shouldn't be; her reaction is exactly the same as our reactions to hearing we had to go through this. It's exactly what I should expect but for some reason I didn't, and it was like this huge heavy wet blanket over my excitement.
Yes, we're sorting and organizing, installing weird plastic devices, locking cabinets, cleaning the house to ridiculous extent. I am being observed, interviewed, and graded. I am not, however, throwing up for nine months, on oxygen or bed rest, eating pickle ice cream sandwiches, or looking forward to a tentative high-risk surgical birth. In the end, I'm pretty sure it'll be worth it.
Monday, January 12, 2009
One nearly down...
Got the call this morning to schedule our "Sanitation Inspection". The lady from the county called it that, and then listed a few things they'll be looking for... which were all on the list from Bert for the "Health and Safety Inspection". So I'm assuming it's the same thing.
I'm a bit nervous, because I've never been clear about whether we're officially "adopting" or "foster adopting"; we marked the 'yes' box on Bethany's application that said, "Willing to foster identified adopting child" or something like that, and Bert explained that meant we were willing to be cleared just in case the child we choose isn't freed for adoption yet. I explained that situation to the county lady, and she decided to mark 'foster care clearance' on her paper, so we're officially being inspected under foster care terms. I'm a bit concerned that I messed something up on that one, but it doesn't make sense any other way.
Anyway, the inspection is next Thursday around 11:30a.m. Please pray that it'll go really well and that we'll stay calm and accomplish a lot between now and then! Our friend Jen is coming tomorrow after work to help us do some of the major stuff we have left (like cleaning the non-self-cleaning oven and moving all the unsafe heavy stuff from the garage to the shed) and we'll get everything else finished up on the weekend.
In preparation for the fire inspection, (not scheduled yet) I stopped at the fire station today to ask about the extinguisher recharge thing. The firemen were very nice... really young, which surprised me, but quite sweet. I should do more for the local firefighter guys; my cousin fights wildfires in the North West, and I should take an interest in things I have personal connection to. Anyway, they said they have a company down about 10 minutes away come and charge up the ones at the station, and the two guys there didn't know the name of the company, but they did tell me where it is. So I can Google it, most likely. Here's hoping!
I'm a bit nervous, because I've never been clear about whether we're officially "adopting" or "foster adopting"; we marked the 'yes' box on Bethany's application that said, "Willing to foster identified adopting child" or something like that, and Bert explained that meant we were willing to be cleared just in case the child we choose isn't freed for adoption yet. I explained that situation to the county lady, and she decided to mark 'foster care clearance' on her paper, so we're officially being inspected under foster care terms. I'm a bit concerned that I messed something up on that one, but it doesn't make sense any other way.
Anyway, the inspection is next Thursday around 11:30a.m. Please pray that it'll go really well and that we'll stay calm and accomplish a lot between now and then! Our friend Jen is coming tomorrow after work to help us do some of the major stuff we have left (like cleaning the non-self-cleaning oven and moving all the unsafe heavy stuff from the garage to the shed) and we'll get everything else finished up on the weekend.
In preparation for the fire inspection, (not scheduled yet) I stopped at the fire station today to ask about the extinguisher recharge thing. The firemen were very nice... really young, which surprised me, but quite sweet. I should do more for the local firefighter guys; my cousin fights wildfires in the North West, and I should take an interest in things I have personal connection to. Anyway, they said they have a company down about 10 minutes away come and charge up the ones at the station, and the two guys there didn't know the name of the company, but they did tell me where it is. So I can Google it, most likely. Here's hoping!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Mild frustration... again...
Okay, so I realize that it's been the holidays and things got busy. I can accept that. But when I talked to Bert yesterday, I thought we were golden. Yesterday was the mix up in inspector requisitions. Today she called a number of times... first she hadn't written down when our house was built, which we have discussed a number of times. Then she called back to verify where Lanse works, and I asked her if the reference letters had gone out, since I hadn't heard about it yet. So she goes digging, and the address we'd given her in December while she was standing in our living room (done then to save time, y'know) was still tucked into the file and never made it to the secretary who had the form. Then she called me back again because apparently they sent the employment reference form to work and never got it back. There was something else as well that she called back about, and I can't remember.
So on the frustrated side, things haven't been getting done when I thought they were.
On the positive side though, I happen to know that Bert's been sitting in the office all afternoon with our file open, and that's a good thing.
After losing most of the day to a migraine headache, I have managed to scan in and email our vet records to her, as well as print out the floor plan fire escape routes that we need to have posted in prominent places. We have to run out and get some frames for them. I printed two black and white for the living room and kitchen, and one colorful with cute clip art for the kid's room. I think next I'll print up an emergency numbers list to post with it.
I also need to make that shopping list so that when we go we can get everything at once. It'll be a big bill. Sigh.
So on the frustrated side, things haven't been getting done when I thought they were.
On the positive side though, I happen to know that Bert's been sitting in the office all afternoon with our file open, and that's a good thing.
After losing most of the day to a migraine headache, I have managed to scan in and email our vet records to her, as well as print out the floor plan fire escape routes that we need to have posted in prominent places. We have to run out and get some frames for them. I printed two black and white for the living room and kitchen, and one colorful with cute clip art for the kid's room. I think next I'll print up an emergency numbers list to post with it.
I also need to make that shopping list so that when we go we can get everything at once. It'll be a big bill. Sigh.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Inspections and vets
I had sent email to Bert two weeks ago and in the craziness of the holidays it got buried. I thought there was a chance that she'd gone off to have surgery, so I emailed her secretary and got a call back from Bert.
The health inspection request never got sent, and the fire inspection request was sent to Charleston County instead of Dorchester County. So she's sending both again, and she will copy me on the request via email so that I know exactly when she requests it.
We're pretty much ready for the inspections, though we have to go buy a large bin to store paint in, get around to locking up the tools in the garage, and I keep finding matchbooks in various drawers, so I need to go around with a box and systematically search every drawer and closet and stuff for things like matches and scissors. The obvious stuff has been taken care of, but since I have candles all over the house I tended to leave means of fire nearby. I also need to buy another bin to put my quilting supplies in, since there's currently rotary cutters on my craft shelf and blades for it in my (low) drawer. Hopefully what we have left will take about two hours (not counting the shopping for bins), plus taking the fire extinguisher to the fire station and seeing if they'll recharge it for us.
Other than that, we only had the vet records left to take care of, and that appointment's in an hour. Oh, we also have to dump our dead garden pots. We were also going to dismantle the playset, but Bert says so long as we have a plan and she can verify later that it was done, we don't have to have that done when the inspector arrives.
I registered us for the next two training classes, the first on ADD/ADHD/ODD, and the second on Lying. Should be interesting.
The health inspection request never got sent, and the fire inspection request was sent to Charleston County instead of Dorchester County. So she's sending both again, and she will copy me on the request via email so that I know exactly when she requests it.
We're pretty much ready for the inspections, though we have to go buy a large bin to store paint in, get around to locking up the tools in the garage, and I keep finding matchbooks in various drawers, so I need to go around with a box and systematically search every drawer and closet and stuff for things like matches and scissors. The obvious stuff has been taken care of, but since I have candles all over the house I tended to leave means of fire nearby. I also need to buy another bin to put my quilting supplies in, since there's currently rotary cutters on my craft shelf and blades for it in my (low) drawer. Hopefully what we have left will take about two hours (not counting the shopping for bins), plus taking the fire extinguisher to the fire station and seeing if they'll recharge it for us.
Other than that, we only had the vet records left to take care of, and that appointment's in an hour. Oh, we also have to dump our dead garden pots. We were also going to dismantle the playset, but Bert says so long as we have a plan and she can verify later that it was done, we don't have to have that done when the inspector arrives.
I registered us for the next two training classes, the first on ADD/ADHD/ODD, and the second on Lying. Should be interesting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
