Quick update

I love naptime, and I need one myself so I'll make this quick.  We are now in the midst of week 7 with our two boys, whom Lanse has named Small Unit B and Small Unit L.  I'm going to adapt that to be SU and their ages, so that everyone can have a better understanding of accomplishments.

Weeks one and two were what we call "the Honeymoon period", although for SU2.10 it was closer to one week long.  This is when they eat everything we give them, obey everything we tell them to do, use all their manners every time, and generally aim to please.  Once they began to feel comfortable with us and know the routine, the tantrums and testing began.  The next couple of weeks involved starting day care, managing screaming and biting, learning what foods they actually don't like, and figuring out why each behavior occurred.

The most frustrating thing for us with young kids who have been through trauma is that there are so many possibilities behind why they do what they do. Are they being a toddler/delayed preschooler in an appropriate "terrible twos" sort of way?  Is this an abandonment or lack of attachment rage?  Are they truly not understanding our request due to the environment effects and drug exposure from their birth home?  Our responses to each of these must be different to some extent, but their behavior in each case is often identical.  We've spent the last few weeks coming to know the boys better and learn to identify the causes of their different moods.

Now we are in the midst of what feels like a major change.  We took the boys with us to our Thanksgiving family reunion, whereat illness took over SU3.9 for a bit, and they returned different boys.  They are affectionate, conversational, they are willing to discuss their feelings and suggest things they can do to let out their anger. SU2.10 is now able to stop himself momentarily mid-rage and change direction to something more healthy. In the last two weeks we have been able to count tantrums per week instead of per day.  They have been running joyfully to their day care classroom, and succeeding wonderfully there.

And last, but definitely not least, they have begun to call me Mommy.  This makes me a bit uncomfortable, since they have a mommy they remember. But they won't be seeing her and they are at an age where they really need that word to mean something good, so I'm going with the flow.  They tried calling Lanse Daddy, but they see their daddy regularly, so now we're trying out "Daddy Lanse", which is catching on. 

At this point, we still don't know when they are returning to their dad.  We thought last week, then we thought this week, and now we don't know.  So we keep on keeping on, managing many appointments and therapies, keeping up in day care, and preparing for Christmas.

Thank you for all your loving support. We continue to covet your prayers! 

Just a bit busy...

After receiving our foster license in March, we waited around for a while getting depressed and feeling sorry for ourselves.  We should have known better, because we now can't wait for a good time to shower or sleep! 

Just over a week ago we brought two boys into our home, ages 2 and 3.  They're very active kids, and we try to keep up.  But thank God that once we get them to settle down, they sleep all night!  This is the first time, however, that I've had a chance to sit down at the computer since they arrived.  A lot of you are hearing from us on Facebook, but I never replaced my old computer, and I'm doing FB from my smart phone, which is a bit more pain-inducing to blog on. 

Anyway, we don't know how long the boys will be with us, and we probably won't get much warning when they leave, but in the meantime we're having a lot of fun getting to know them and helping them meet goals and conquer fears.

They've also helped us identify gaps in our supplies.  We have no acceptable outdoor toddler/preschool toys (trike, large bouncy balls, t-ball or kids croquet, that kind of thing).  Matching bath toys so we don't have to fight over them in a slippery location.  And then there's just basic holes in my supplies like not having any kids' safety scissors or building blocks, despite a large art box and a closet full of toys.  So they're being very helpful!

Please continue to pray for us as each cumulative day of not enough sleep and loud demanding voices are wearing us down. Pray that we will wake refreshed and joyful each day and be able to understand what the boys really need when their actions don't reflect it.

Also, please keep in mind that due to the nature of this process we can't discuss their family details or post pictures online.  We very much appreciate your continued prayers for the boys' parents as well, and thank you for not pressing for additional details.  In our search for support and a shoulder to lean on, we will be freely sharing as much as we are legally able, as long as it is in the boys' best interests.

First arrival

In this case, it's the arrival of our foster license!  Our worker called today to say that it's arrived. She will mail it if she can't find a time to bring it over herself.  Then we'll (hopefully) get either more information or a call for a kiddo.  Hurray!

I've been substitute teaching at the preschool level for the last few weeks, three days a week or so. We've got some pretty tough kids, and it's made me nervous.  Please pray that both our worker and we will have wisdom and discernment to accept children into our home that are a perfect match for our abilities and their needs and that He will fill us both with confidence!

Thanks!

News?

Our foster care social worker called yesterday asking to meet with us for a home visit, but I had my phone off while I was teaching and missed the call, then I called back and left a message, so I'm waiting to hear back from her. I don't know if it's a regularly scheduled visit or if there's News. In the meantime, we ought to finish installing the gate and I need to tidy up a few different areas that we've been lax about.

That's all that's going on so far. Keep praying!

January foster care meeting

This morning we met with the head of foster care in Dorchester County to work on getting our license. We showed her the house, did some paperwork, talked about our hopes for our child, had a lot of questions answered. Also learned that we have to complete the auto-biography, the 10 page essay question document that the adoption office didn't need us to do for the third time. But apparently, the foster office can't use the home study as a replacement for it, so we have to do it anyway. My hands aren't used to writing so much, and my index finger swelled up a lot by page seven. The swelling's gone down over the last couple of hours, but it's very stiff; I had hoped to be finished writing today so we can send this off tomorrow, but we'll see how much more my finger joints can take.

Thankfully, she was exceptionally optimistic. She seemed to like what she saw, and as we finished up talking about what children we're most interested in parenting, she said, "I've got just the situation in mind!" So either she simply understands what we want, or she's actually got a child somewhere waiting for our license. Either way, it's good to know that there's really hope this way. So we'll see what happens!

We also got details on boring necessities like a breakdown of stipend monies, birthparent visitation, and DSS visitation, the details of which I won't bore you with. If you really want to know them, send me email.

Please continue to pray that the child God has for us is ready, and that He thinks we're ready too... and that He'll make the system move it all along quickly... we're very tired of waiting!

Stuff-Gathering

As we intend to be foster parents, but don't know what age or gender our child will be, we're collecting up things as folks offer or we come across good deals. Since I know there's going to be some folks who want, (over the course of holidays or whatnot), to gift us things, I figured a list of stuff we already have - or specifically need - may be helpful. I'll try to keep it updated as we go along.

Clothes:
*Note: clothes may, in many cases, go home with the child so we may need to have a continuous supply in each category. With that in mind, even if we "have some" we may still need some eventually.

Unisex Winter 0-6 mo. - needed
Unisex Winter 6-12 mo. - needed
Unisex Winter 12+ mo. - have some
Girl stuff Winter 0-6 mo. - have some

Girl stuff Winter 6-12 mo. - have someGirl stuff Winter 12+ mo. - have some

Unisex Summer 0-6 mo. - needed
Unisex Summer 6-12 mo. - needed
Unisex Summer 12+ mo. - needed
Girl stuff Summer 0-6 mo. - needed
Girl stuff Summer 6-12 mo. - have some Girl stuff Summer 12+ mo. - have some

*Note - have not sorted past 12 months; will be also needing toddler clothes.

Socks - have some, but mostly pink. Need boy socks.

Onesie extenders - have

Other stuff:
baby swing - have
plastic cups w/ sippy lids - have
car seat newborn-20lbs - needed
car seat 20-40lbs - have
bottles - needed
high chair/booster seat - needed
crib - have
crib sheet sets - have
diapers - needed (we're doing cloth, so I'll post specifics later)
toddler/preschool toys - we have plenty
infant toys - needed
board books - needed