Quick update

I love naptime, and I need one myself so I'll make this quick.  We are now in the midst of week 7 with our two boys, whom Lanse has named Small Unit B and Small Unit L.  I'm going to adapt that to be SU and their ages, so that everyone can have a better understanding of accomplishments.

Weeks one and two were what we call "the Honeymoon period", although for SU2.10 it was closer to one week long.  This is when they eat everything we give them, obey everything we tell them to do, use all their manners every time, and generally aim to please.  Once they began to feel comfortable with us and know the routine, the tantrums and testing began.  The next couple of weeks involved starting day care, managing screaming and biting, learning what foods they actually don't like, and figuring out why each behavior occurred.

The most frustrating thing for us with young kids who have been through trauma is that there are so many possibilities behind why they do what they do. Are they being a toddler/delayed preschooler in an appropriate "terrible twos" sort of way?  Is this an abandonment or lack of attachment rage?  Are they truly not understanding our request due to the environment effects and drug exposure from their birth home?  Our responses to each of these must be different to some extent, but their behavior in each case is often identical.  We've spent the last few weeks coming to know the boys better and learn to identify the causes of their different moods.

Now we are in the midst of what feels like a major change.  We took the boys with us to our Thanksgiving family reunion, whereat illness took over SU3.9 for a bit, and they returned different boys.  They are affectionate, conversational, they are willing to discuss their feelings and suggest things they can do to let out their anger. SU2.10 is now able to stop himself momentarily mid-rage and change direction to something more healthy. In the last two weeks we have been able to count tantrums per week instead of per day.  They have been running joyfully to their day care classroom, and succeeding wonderfully there.

And last, but definitely not least, they have begun to call me Mommy.  This makes me a bit uncomfortable, since they have a mommy they remember. But they won't be seeing her and they are at an age where they really need that word to mean something good, so I'm going with the flow.  They tried calling Lanse Daddy, but they see their daddy regularly, so now we're trying out "Daddy Lanse", which is catching on. 

At this point, we still don't know when they are returning to their dad.  We thought last week, then we thought this week, and now we don't know.  So we keep on keeping on, managing many appointments and therapies, keeping up in day care, and preparing for Christmas.

Thank you for all your loving support. We continue to covet your prayers!