Biblical Adoption

Brian Luwis's Biblical perspective on adoption, found on America World Adoption Agency's website, is awe-inspiring to me every time I read it. I highly recommend that you read the entire text. Here's a couple of parts that really stand out to me:

The Spirit of Adoption

Does God Place an Emphasis upon Genetic Relations?

I want to dispel a myth that is entrenched in many of our thoughts about God's chosen people. It is my belief that this will help you view adoption as a natural process designed by God. In the book of Genesis, God calls Abraham out from among his kinsmen to a new land. Abraham was to be the father of a nation from which his physical descendants (the "chosen seed") were to be the "keepers of the covenant." From this, we assume it was God's plan to redeem man through Abraham and his biological descendants. This is not the case. When God chose Abraham He also chose his entire household and not just Abraham's physical seed.

Genesis 17:12—“And he that is eight days old will be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of your seed.” (NKJV)

Through this verse we can better understand what God meant when He spoke of a "chosen seed." Abraham's household was truly a blended community, integrating relatives, servants and strangers from a variety of ethnic groups. When God chose Abraham and his descendents, it had nothing to do with genetics. Abraham was chosen because of his faith, as was his "seed." God was not trying to create a special ethnicity of people based upon genetics, blood type or DNA. Instead, God wanted to cultivate a people who would be universally known as His children by their spiritual heritage, not by their skin color or genetic makeup.

Galatians gives further insight into this truth. Galatians 3:7 says, “Know therefore, that they which are of faith are the children of Abraham,” (NKJV)

Galatians 3:29 says, “And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” (NKJV)

When we consider these verses in light of Ephesians 1:5 (NIV), "…He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will," we begin to see adoption for what it really is…God's relationship builder and His chosen means of bringing His fallen creatures into a permanent relationship with Himself and a perfectly natural means for God to place a child in your family.

“Is Adoption God’s Plan B?”

What did the Scriptures have to say about the subject?

Have you ever considered the fact that Jesus was adopted? Yes, Jesus' earthly father Joseph adopted him. In fact, the Gospel of Matthew traces the bloodline of Jesus not through his biological mother, Mary, but through his adoptive father, Joseph. Even though one might easily pass over this fact as insignificant, this detail reveals something amazing about God's nature. God does not make mistakes, and He certainly doesn't need a back-up plan. Through this footnote in history we see that for Jesus, adoption was not Plan B.

God's plan of redemption for an imperfect world was set in motion through the very concept of adoption. Not only did He ordain his son Jesus to be adopted, but He made adoption the only way we could become a part of His eternal family. It was His good pleasure to adopt us. In fact, it is His ideal mechanism to establish relationships."

“Is a Child by Adoption my Own?”
Renée and I faced this question as newly adoptive parents. When Renée gave birth to Sophia we likewise questioned if God considered her to be more "ours" than Fei or Gwenn were "ours."

We read in 1 Corinthians 6:19—“Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?” (NKJV)

If we are not our own and God owns us, then He must own our children too, for it is by His grace that we move, live, and have our being. We have children by His grace, adopted or by birth. God entrusts them to us. He is their true Father in heaven. We are their earthly parents....

God’s Word goes further to show we are not our own by calling us His children. “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” John 1:12 (NIV)

God calls us "His children." If we are His children, then so are our sons and daughters. We can take comfort in knowing that the ownership of our children(by adoption or birth) belongs to the Creator of the Universe, our Eternal Father.

Training

As part of the home study, we are required to take 14 training credits worth of classes on parenting or other adoption/child related issues. We also should continue taking classes throughout our adoption process, but that's what's required for this part. Last week we took a course on home safety that's geared towards passing inspections; foster homes need to not only pass for the licensing part of the home study but are re-inspected annually as well. We also took a seminar on Childhood Anxiety. It was incredibly informative, and really should be renamed just to Anxiety, since I know of many adults who still suffer from a lot of what they covered!

Unfortunately these courses cost something, but Foster Parent College has the best deals that also offer the certificates that we need to have on file. So we're waiting until our next monthly budget to take more classes. Bert has also requested that we take something on grief, but FPC doesn't offer one right now. We'll have to see what we can dig up.

No phone calls from inspectors yet. I'm getting antsy.

Training Credits Remaining: 10

UPDATE: I sent email to FPC asking about a Grief course, and they replied within minutes! They're in the process of developing exactly that course, which will be available in a couple of months. This is a good thing!

Home Visit

It's been two days since Bert was here for the home visit, and I think I'm still processing everything. I have had some sort of resistance to posting about it; I hope it's just because I'm still thinking it over.

The fact that we are going to be parents sometime soon is starting to feel much more real, and kind of suddenly... something will come to mind and just bowl me over emotionally. I'm feeling very stressed out, but not because of any specific event or job that needs doing, but more at the fact that it's Soon. On Wednesday night we were cleaning out and straightening the back room. That room originally had all our child related stuff (I have a lot of toys and books and things from the school I taught at), and it was neat and organized, and we used it as a guest room with the air mattress. Then I needed a place to move my sewing stuff, so we put the toys in the attic and then we needed a better bookcase in the office, so all the furniture moved around again, and it was my sewing room/guest room. (I'd called it my Playroom). Wednesday night we went in to move things around again, and realized this is it. We brought the toys back down to be used and figured out where the bed might go. A friend of ours calls this kind of thing, "Weird head space", like momentous stuff is going on and we just can't wrap our brains around it.

So then, on to the official report. Bert arrived Thursday morning a little before 10:00, and we all got some coffee and sat down to talk. Colin gave us a lovely show, playing with the jingly toy mouse, throwing it in the air by its tail and doing flips to grab it again. That was fun. :) Anyway, first she addressed our concerns and questions, most of which revolved around the inspection. So we got up and did the tour of the house, explained the areas we were concerned about, talked about the furniture and so forth, she gave us some suggestions on things we may want to take care of before the state inspection. There's not many of them, and most of them we were already aware of, which is good.

Then we sat and talked for about an hour, maybe a little more. She'd received our referrals (Thank you, References!) and there was an area on the form for weaknesses as well as strengths,
so we discussed those (don't worry, she didn't tell us who said what). We talked a lot about things that had been covered with our case worker in NY; not for the paperwork, since she had it all written down already, but so that she could get to know us better. We discussed LPA and the pregnancy rates and mixed marriages and how I deal with kids in difficulty areas. We talked about our history, where certain tendencies came from, our marriage and struggles early on and how we dealt with them. Basic important life things.

We've officially had recorded that we're also open to siblings, just two... but one or more than one. We think we've figured out a reasonable way to arrange the house, and we're asking that if we are blessed with two little ones, they'll be close in developmental age so they can share toys and things. Within reason, obviously. We will accept either gender if we feel that we've found The Ones, in any combination really... though we both keep having dreams (at night) that we're having a girl, so we're hoping God will lead us to that. If not now, maybe later. For siblings, Lanse prefers a boy/girl or girl/girl, whereas I prefer a boy/girl or boy/boy, even though I don't know that I can handle two boys. For some reason I just can not picture two girls in this house, I don't know why. But I know that both of us are excited and thrilled to have ANY kids, gender doesn't matter.

As soon as we've finished the things with the house, we'll call Bert and let her know and she'll file for the fire inspection. She's already filed for the Health and Safety, and was surprised they hadn't called us yet. So we'll see how that ends up. Unfortunately, she has to go back into surgery and will be recovering for another six weeks or so. Her previous surgery ruptured, or something nasty like that. Prayers for Bert are appreciated; partly because we don't want her to be in pain, but also because selfishly we want her to be able to get stuff done quickly for us, and we know that she's vital in the lives of a lot of kids right now.

So that's where we are at the moment. Her visit went well, she personally approves of the house and seemed to be very agreeable to our viewpoints in discussion. We get on the ball with the final safety items, call her, she calls them, we wait. They inspect, we get the papers filed, get the vet stuff in, and wait. Once the red tape's all cut and burned, we start the search for our kid(s). And wait. She said it could be anywhere from 6 months to a year or more, it just depends on how on the ball everyone is, and where the child lives right now. I know people who have really on-top-of-it people who get things done sooner than 6 months, but that's not very common. So that's what we're looking at.

Thanks to everyone for your prayers; we can feel them working!

Anxiety - Social Worker Home Visit

The final meeting of our home study is here at the house tomorrow morning around 10. Bert will be inspecting the house, as well as doing other final meeting related conversation and paperwork; I'm not sure what all is involved. While she's not the official safety inspection person, we wanted to have as much as possible obviously begun so she knows we Really Really Mean It.

Yesterday we installed all the child locks and things to wind the blind cords around and outlet covers (except the spiffy ones for power strips I couldn't find at the store) and the tipsy bookshelves bolted to the wall and the main areas of the house straightened and our bedroom cleaned (it had become a catch-all kind of room). The hardwoods are swept and the main bathroom is clean. I was also appalled by the large chunks of paint peeling off the front porch steps, so I scraped it and put a coat of paint on yesterday morning (with 48 hours exactly to dry, and yes, the weather was just on the cold side of acceptable for painting). The paint went on really thin, more like a stain, and all I can think is that I didn't stir it enough, since it's definitely a can of acrylic top coat exterior porch paint. No clue. It was in the garage from the previous owners, so maybe they added something to it. But at least the porch is now an 'in process' project and not a 'bad home owner' mess.

Today we have to prepare the back bedroom (kids' room that's also been a catch-all), deal with a few random piles of miscellaneous stuff, vacuum and mop where necessary, wash kitten nose prints off the windows, dust the furniture, and clean the master bathroom. Also have to call a vet and make an appointment. Then, perhaps, we'll be ready.

I'm trying to decide what I can bake that will make the house smell lovely. We need a loaf of bread, but I don't want to have to get it out of the machine while she's here, and I'm not getting up at 6 to put it in. So maybe I'll make muffins or cookies or something. Maybe cinnamon rolls, since it's a morning meeting. Suggestions are welcome.