Ideas from Father Mike and two quotes

1. It's rarely coincidence when two people prayerfully making one decision come to the same conclusions independently.

2. Not only does God not want us to commit our lives to misery (even if we're equipped to physically handle it), He promises to give us the desires of our hearts. Being specific in the child we want is okay. If He wants to change something about that, He can do it.

3. We need to gather more information. We've already been talking to folks about the adoption process and how it worked for them, but I don't recall conversing on the specifics of how they reached their decisions. Also, since we have the option to choose different paths, information regarding those paths may be helpful.

4. Regarding my hearing God say "She's not ready yet", Mike's first inclination was to agree that it most likely meant a child based on the situation I was in when I prayed about it. He also pointed out (without me saying so first) that it didn't say "Stop", and that in his experience God is often clear about something as specific as "Stop".

5. If our prayer does not seem to be answered, it may be that God is waiting for us to pray the right prayer. It may not be about the answer, it may be about how we are relating to Him. My experience has proven that to be the case quite a lot, and it's a perspective I hadn't considered.

I feel like he said a lot more than that, but I'm processing slowly... as we continue to pray and talk, I'll try to add what I've forgotten to this list.

Lanse's Aunt Liz pointed the family towards a blog by church folks who went to Rwanda. Though Mr. (Dr.? Rev.?) Greener said the following while en route to Africa, it really felt appropriate for the topic of adoption as well:

• Anticipation is actually a part of all journeys worth making. It’s not wasted time (unless we waste it) but is part of the discipline of orienteering—of getting our bearings before we launch. It’s a season of collecting our strength and focus and desire, while learning that we are ultimately not in control. So we wait for love to blossom, for the child to come, for the job offer, for healing and wholeness to be known, for ends and beginnings—the best things can’t be rushed or demanded, but they can be anticipated. ~Jay Greener, Redeemer Church

Elsewhere in the blog he quoted an African proverb, which I've added to my sidebar. In the whole mess of worry and searching, of seeking God's will for the future and piling on anxiety over interpretations, we can get so caught up that we miss the excitement and the joy found in the present. So in the words of the wisdom of Africa,

"Waiting should not keep you from dancing."

I urge those of you who are waiting for any reason to please join me in remembering to dance, at least a little bit.

Homestudy Approval Meeting Tomorrow

We're driving up to Bethany tomorrow to meet with Bert at 2:30. The homestudy's been signed off by the Director, and we have to read through it carefully to make sure it's all accurate and things cast in the particular lights that we feel are appropriate. We'll be bringing her a few more photos to add in, and we'll also be discussing our time line for the next part of the plan. As soon as I know it, I'll share it.

I love my friends, and how they're all so amazingly supportive through all of this craziness. I've been spending time here and there looking through photolistings and getting discouraged because of how few children are listed as available who we feel could fit our family. I've been discouraged enough that we've already started discussing our alternatives. I mentioned this to one of my best friends last night and she said, "Well, you wouldn't be able to do anything about it until Friday, right? So they wouldn't be there yet." Her point was basically, when we're ready, God'll put our children's info right where it needs to be. She was so totally right. I'm so grateful that God's given us friends to help us keep perspective.

More news tomorrow!

Weekend Review

Well, the state's not so silly after all. We received the vet records yesterday, and wouldn'tcha know that all of the cat's shots except for two of Kira's are overdue... by almost a year. My reasoning is this: our last visit was in March of 07. We moved in July 07. When we were at the vet's in March, we asked if we needed them done and the vet said, "Oh, they're 3 year shots, it's not needed right now." Apparently 'not right now' meant 'come back in November', but no one made that clear. Now it's November a year later. Oops.

Note to people in transition: Don't lose your copies of the vet records.

So we'll be vaccinating the cats after the holiday. Gotta find a vet first though.

Had lunch with my cousin on Friday. She loaned us a baby gate and some outlet covers, and gave us an extra pack of beach toys they had and a kid's hymn cassette. Of course, we have no cassette player, but I'm thinking we'll try to find someone who has a machine that can burn the CD... or, now that we own the cassette, maybe we can legally download in mp3 format.

Safety dance

We're doing the Safety Dance. For me, it's a dance of joy that people love us and we now have a bag full of donated supplies to child proof the house! Yay!

Loads of thanks to Heather Jackson at church and anyone else who may have donated to this cause.

My cousin has offered us a baby gate or two and the remainder of the outlet covers we need (minus the snazzy ones I want), so I think we'll be all set pretty soon.

Home visit & Update

Bert will come and do the final home study meeting here at our house on December 4th, around 10:00 in the morning. We need to have as much completed for the inspections as possible, since she'll be serving as sort of a pre-inspection as well as doing other things. She'll offer her opinion on what things we may have to deal with for the inspection, like whether or not we have to dismantle the play structure for it, that kind of thing.

The head of Women's Ministry at church emailed me that there's a bag of child proofing things waiting for me there. Yay! Support is wonderful. I'll pick that up on Friday when I go for Bible Study, we'll put it all into action, and then see what we have left. I also need to see when Nancy can have me come down and pick up the baby gates from her, now that Lanse isn't in the office predictably enough for them to exchange at work.

We also got Bert's approval for the online classes we found at Foster Parent College, so we'll be signing up for some learning as soon as we can sit in one place together and decide on which class we want.

Adoption Blog Creation Day

Welcome to our new Tryon adoption blog. I've spent the last few hours transferring all my previous adoption-related blog posts to this one. If you want to start at the beginning, here's the first official post.

For today's update, I sent an email to Bert yesterday for a status report. I gave her mine, and I'm waiting to hear back to schedule her visit here. In the meantime, we discovered Foster Parent College, where we can take the required training courses and get a certificate for reasonable prices. I've also created a profile at Foster Care Central.* I'm excited to get started, but this week we're heading to Charlotte to see CR and Rachel and Kaylee, so when we get back hopefully we can tip the ball down at least a little of the hill.

*Yes, these all say 'Foster Care'. We're now sort-of-officially-but-not-really on the 'foster-adopt' track, and all the resources are shared freely between all of the different areas... but the majority of what I've been able to find so far have been filed under foster care. So we're going for it. I mean, like-minded parenting support is like-minded parenting support, wherever you get it.