The turn-around was really fabulous on this one. While we were on vacation, we received a call from the CI that the final home study had been submitted on November 26, and the following week we received the official letter with signatures on it stating we are cleared and ready to roll.
Of course, the children we're seeking for adoption are typically not often available, which is why we chose the foster-adoption route this time around. So our files will be sent to the county foster offices eventually (date unspecified) and we'll see what they need. But we're moving forward!
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Friday, December 10, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
CI Interview II Report
Yesterday the CI called and said she had a cancellation for this morning, so we took it! Speed is always a good thing. She arrived at 8:30 and left a little after 10:00, and the questions weren't as intense as they were on Wednesday. Topics covered today:
So now we wait again. But it sounds like we won't wait very long, at least not with her part. She will write up what she has to write up and submit it to our social worker at the beginning of next week, and call us to let us know she submitted it. Then our social worker will make any corrections and send it back to her, she'll make the changes, resubmit, and call us again. She estimates that process will be done before we travel for the holiday. Then, over our trip, they'll (theoretically) get the paperwork to the county foster office and we'll go from there.
I really have no idea if we'll have a placement right away, but there's potential. We have not yet been assigned a foster care social worker, so we'll have to get connected there and find out what we need to complete the clearance. But if they're as motivated as the CI, we could... maybe... have a child for Christmas. I'm starting to get excited again, but still feeling like I probably shouldn't quite yet.
The CI also asked if we were being foster cleared for multiple counties, which is something that hadn't come up as a possibility. There's apparently a much higher need for foster care in Charleston County, which is not our county, so if we can get multiple clearances, it may help things move more quickly as well. We'll follow up on that when we hear from our social worker.
Again, and always, thank you for your ongoing prayers!
- Child checklist: what behaviors/history/disabilities are we willing/not willing to accept/consider in a child/birth family. While this sounds difficult (and it is) because everything on the list could happen to anyone, the choices need to be made as to what needs, if any, we're simply not physically able or prepared to meet. Not being prepared to deal with basic needs while a child is recovering from trauma is something they'd like to avoid in general. That said, almost everything on the list (as far as behaviors) are developmentally appropriate for the age range we're looking at, so this part wasn't really that complicated.
- Level of comfort/concerns/personal perspectives on continuing birth family/important other people contact
- Finances and Will/future plans for child
- How would you respond if... child/family/public did/said...
- How will you address the concept of adoption/questions/birth family search (when older) with the child
- How will you handle child/adult offering information on trauma/details
- Importance of our faith/plans for child
- Plans for discipline/views of child development
- Plans for daily child care/babysitters/respite providers
So now we wait again. But it sounds like we won't wait very long, at least not with her part. She will write up what she has to write up and submit it to our social worker at the beginning of next week, and call us to let us know she submitted it. Then our social worker will make any corrections and send it back to her, she'll make the changes, resubmit, and call us again. She estimates that process will be done before we travel for the holiday. Then, over our trip, they'll (theoretically) get the paperwork to the county foster office and we'll go from there.
I really have no idea if we'll have a placement right away, but there's potential. We have not yet been assigned a foster care social worker, so we'll have to get connected there and find out what we need to complete the clearance. But if they're as motivated as the CI, we could... maybe... have a child for Christmas. I'm starting to get excited again, but still feeling like I probably shouldn't quite yet.
The CI also asked if we were being foster cleared for multiple counties, which is something that hadn't come up as a possibility. There's apparently a much higher need for foster care in Charleston County, which is not our county, so if we can get multiple clearances, it may help things move more quickly as well. We'll follow up on that when we hear from our social worker.
Again, and always, thank you for your ongoing prayers!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
CI Tomorrow
Tomorrow morning at 8:30 the CI will be here to begin our interview process. She should be here for two or three hours, and we'll talk about everything, apparently. We were told that she's really good and "very thorough". Thank the Lord that I woke up yesterday with scads of energy, something that almost never happens! I was able to clean the main areas of the house, put away all the filing, balance the budget, read four chapters of homework, and cook a steak dinner. Amazing!
Today, however, there's not so much energy. The medication I'm on at the moment is making me twitchy and feeling at loose ends, but I'm exhausted and don't really want to move. Even so, this morning I cleared up the kid's room and put bedding out, so that room is lovely, found another stack of books and had to rearrange the shelves to make them fit (a task I actually enjoy, so long as I don't get sucked into reading things), and aside from a small list of incidentals, I only have the upstairs loft left to straighten. Most of that is done already, and I just need to finish filling up the BORC (Box Of Random Stuff) and shove it in the attic. I also have to clean my bathroom floor, which is tiny, so that's okay. Doesn't sound like much compared to yesterday, but it's been a lot harder to get going today.
I appear to have wandered a bit. I find it interesting, though, how our attitudes have changed each time we've done the homestudy. The first time through, we didn't make it to the home visit, so we didn't have to clean like this. The second time, we were tweaked out about every little detail, and friends from church volunteered to come over and help me deep scrub. We emptied and cleaned out all the cabinets and sanitized the entire house top to bottom. This time we're much more relaxed, and balanced on that edge of wanting it to be company-ready, but also accurately represent our style of living, which is not company-ready. I seem to be the only one actually stressing out about it, (though Lanse is under a lot of stress at work, so it's hard to tell) but I'm definitely not sweating what I think of as the small stuff. Of course, my definition of "the small stuff" is different from other people's. But I figure if we ever have to do a homestudy again, we'll probably just vaccuum and make the beds.
Pray for us tomorrow morning. I'll let you know how it goes!
Today, however, there's not so much energy. The medication I'm on at the moment is making me twitchy and feeling at loose ends, but I'm exhausted and don't really want to move. Even so, this morning I cleared up the kid's room and put bedding out, so that room is lovely, found another stack of books and had to rearrange the shelves to make them fit (a task I actually enjoy, so long as I don't get sucked into reading things), and aside from a small list of incidentals, I only have the upstairs loft left to straighten. Most of that is done already, and I just need to finish filling up the BORC (Box Of Random Stuff) and shove it in the attic. I also have to clean my bathroom floor, which is tiny, so that's okay. Doesn't sound like much compared to yesterday, but it's been a lot harder to get going today.
I appear to have wandered a bit. I find it interesting, though, how our attitudes have changed each time we've done the homestudy. The first time through, we didn't make it to the home visit, so we didn't have to clean like this. The second time, we were tweaked out about every little detail, and friends from church volunteered to come over and help me deep scrub. We emptied and cleaned out all the cabinets and sanitized the entire house top to bottom. This time we're much more relaxed, and balanced on that edge of wanting it to be company-ready, but also accurately represent our style of living, which is not company-ready. I seem to be the only one actually stressing out about it, (though Lanse is under a lot of stress at work, so it's hard to tell) but I'm definitely not sweating what I think of as the small stuff. Of course, my definition of "the small stuff" is different from other people's. But I figure if we ever have to do a homestudy again, we'll probably just vaccuum and make the beds.
Pray for us tomorrow morning. I'll let you know how it goes!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Biblical Adoption
Brian Luwis's Biblical perspective on adoption, found on America World Adoption Agency's website, is awe-inspiring to me every time I read it. I highly recommend that you read the entire text. Here's a couple of parts that really stand out to me:
The Spirit of Adoption
Does God Place an Emphasis upon Genetic Relations?
I want to dispel a myth that is entrenched in many of our thoughts about God's chosen people. It is my belief that this will help you view adoption as a natural process designed by God. In the book of Genesis, God calls Abraham out from among his kinsmen to a new land. Abraham was to be the father of a nation from which his physical descendants (the "chosen seed") were to be the "keepers of the covenant." From this, we assume it was God's plan to redeem man through Abraham and his biological descendants. This is not the case. When God chose Abraham He also chose his entire household and not just Abraham's physical seed.
Genesis 17:12—“And he that is eight days old will be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of your seed.” (NKJV)
Through this verse we can better understand what God meant when He spoke of a "chosen seed." Abraham's household was truly a blended community, integrating relatives, servants and strangers from a variety of ethnic groups. When God chose Abraham and his descendents, it had nothing to do with genetics. Abraham was chosen because of his faith, as was his "seed." God was not trying to create a special ethnicity of people based upon genetics, blood type or DNA. Instead, God wanted to cultivate a people who would be universally known as His children by their spiritual heritage, not by their skin color or genetic makeup.
Galatians gives further insight into this truth. Galatians 3:7 says, “Know therefore, that they which are of faith are the children of Abraham,” (NKJV)
Galatians 3:29 says, “And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” (NKJV)
When we consider these verses in light of Ephesians 1:5 (NIV), "…He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will," we begin to see adoption for what it really is…God's relationship builder and His chosen means of bringing His fallen creatures into a permanent relationship with Himself and a perfectly natural means for God to place a child in your family.
“Is Adoption God’s Plan B?”
What did the Scriptures have to say about the subject?
Have you ever considered the fact that Jesus was adopted? Yes, Jesus' earthly father Joseph adopted him. In fact, the Gospel of Matthew traces the bloodline of Jesus not through his biological mother, Mary, but through his adoptive father, Joseph. Even though one might easily pass over this fact as insignificant, this detail reveals something amazing about God's nature. God does not make mistakes, and He certainly doesn't need a back-up plan. Through this footnote in history we see that for Jesus, adoption was not Plan B.
God's plan of redemption for an imperfect world was set in motion through the very concept of adoption. Not only did He ordain his son Jesus to be adopted, but He made adoption the only way we could become a part of His eternal family. It was His good pleasure to adopt us. In fact, it is His ideal mechanism to establish relationships."
“Is a Child by Adoption my Own?”
Renée and I faced this question as newly adoptive parents. When Renée gave birth to Sophia we likewise questioned if God considered her to be more "ours" than Fei or Gwenn were "ours."
We read in 1 Corinthians 6:19—“Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?” (NKJV)
If we are not our own and God owns us, then He must own our children too, for it is by His grace that we move, live, and have our being. We have children by His grace, adopted or by birth. God entrusts them to us. He is their true Father in heaven. We are their earthly parents....
God’s Word goes further to show we are not our own by calling us His children. “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” John 1:12 (NIV)
God calls us "His children." If we are His children, then so are our sons and daughters. We can take comfort in knowing that the ownership of our children(by adoption or birth) belongs to the Creator of the Universe, our Eternal Father.
The Spirit of Adoption
Does God Place an Emphasis upon Genetic Relations?
I want to dispel a myth that is entrenched in many of our thoughts about God's chosen people. It is my belief that this will help you view adoption as a natural process designed by God. In the book of Genesis, God calls Abraham out from among his kinsmen to a new land. Abraham was to be the father of a nation from which his physical descendants (the "chosen seed") were to be the "keepers of the covenant." From this, we assume it was God's plan to redeem man through Abraham and his biological descendants. This is not the case. When God chose Abraham He also chose his entire household and not just Abraham's physical seed.
Genesis 17:12—“And he that is eight days old will be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of your seed.” (NKJV)
Through this verse we can better understand what God meant when He spoke of a "chosen seed." Abraham's household was truly a blended community, integrating relatives, servants and strangers from a variety of ethnic groups. When God chose Abraham and his descendents, it had nothing to do with genetics. Abraham was chosen because of his faith, as was his "seed." God was not trying to create a special ethnicity of people based upon genetics, blood type or DNA. Instead, God wanted to cultivate a people who would be universally known as His children by their spiritual heritage, not by their skin color or genetic makeup.
Galatians gives further insight into this truth. Galatians 3:7 says, “Know therefore, that they which are of faith are the children of Abraham,” (NKJV)
Galatians 3:29 says, “And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” (NKJV)
When we consider these verses in light of Ephesians 1:5 (NIV), "…He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will," we begin to see adoption for what it really is…God's relationship builder and His chosen means of bringing His fallen creatures into a permanent relationship with Himself and a perfectly natural means for God to place a child in your family.
“Is Adoption God’s Plan B?”
What did the Scriptures have to say about the subject?
Have you ever considered the fact that Jesus was adopted? Yes, Jesus' earthly father Joseph adopted him. In fact, the Gospel of Matthew traces the bloodline of Jesus not through his biological mother, Mary, but through his adoptive father, Joseph. Even though one might easily pass over this fact as insignificant, this detail reveals something amazing about God's nature. God does not make mistakes, and He certainly doesn't need a back-up plan. Through this footnote in history we see that for Jesus, adoption was not Plan B.
God's plan of redemption for an imperfect world was set in motion through the very concept of adoption. Not only did He ordain his son Jesus to be adopted, but He made adoption the only way we could become a part of His eternal family. It was His good pleasure to adopt us. In fact, it is His ideal mechanism to establish relationships."
“Is a Child by Adoption my Own?”
Renée and I faced this question as newly adoptive parents. When Renée gave birth to Sophia we likewise questioned if God considered her to be more "ours" than Fei or Gwenn were "ours."
We read in 1 Corinthians 6:19—“Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?” (NKJV)
If we are not our own and God owns us, then He must own our children too, for it is by His grace that we move, live, and have our being. We have children by His grace, adopted or by birth. God entrusts them to us. He is their true Father in heaven. We are their earthly parents....
God’s Word goes further to show we are not our own by calling us His children. “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” John 1:12 (NIV)
God calls us "His children." If we are His children, then so are our sons and daughters. We can take comfort in knowing that the ownership of our children(by adoption or birth) belongs to the Creator of the Universe, our Eternal Father.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Tryon Adoption Story
Like many folk, we're on the road to adoption! It's been in process now for a few years, in one form or another. Our thoughts and experiences have been scattered randomly across the internet, so I thought it was about time to condense it all into one location. I'll be posting as much of it as I can find from my livejournal account so that everyone can start from the beginning with us.
Welcome!
Welcome!
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
The Official Beginning: August 29, 2006
We've been journeying along the adoption path emotionally and mentally over the last five years or so, each at a different point along the path. I'm generally the 'jump in and go' type, whereas Lanse needs time to really soak in the ideas that I keep throwing at him.
Generally people think about adoption as firstly a trip to Russia or China or Guatemala, secondly as finding a birthmother to provide an infant for us, and finally, as 'oh, those poor crazy people, God bless them, adopting messed-up kids from the state!'
We started out on the birthmother route. For me, the emphasis was about me -becoming- a mother, as opposed to -being- a mother. If I couldn't birth a child myself, I wanted to get as close as I could to the experience: planning the nursery, seeing the ultrasounds, feeling the kicks, being in delivery, cutting the cord. These are all things that would fulfill my need in becoming a mother. I think there's enough evidence of almost a spirit-bond in utero that makes that response natural to anyone who realizes they can't have that choice. But seriously, count the 'I's and 'Me's in this paragraph. Plus, having a birthmother situation wherein the birthfather is known provides the best situation for replacing the type of birth I couldn't have. Everyone wants the ideal.
I started thinking of international adoption as I realized how self focused I was. Slowly I began to realize that adoption isn't about me, it's about family and children. My focus changed to the children and their needs, but somehow still focused on myself. We can go to Europe and adopt sad little abandoned orphan kids who need us, so long as they're our color, and aren't too old so that I can take care of them properly... and can't have any faults, since we really can't afford it. Somehow the sad little malnourished orphans in other countries need us more. Jesus taught us to love and care for widows and orphans.
Somehow, mulling and praying over that last sentance brought me to this weekend. I stumbled randomly onto the New York Child Services website, into the Available Children Photolisting, and I was struck suddenly by the realization that we have orphans -right here-. There are 633 children in New York State that are photolisted on the website. There are more who don't get photolisted. People are afraid of these children because many of them are older, and the assumption is that most of them have gone through trauma of some kind.
Yes, there are definitely children of that type, many with moderate to severe physical needs, and any orphaned child will struggle with abandonment issues. But there are children there with no problems except that they have a brother or sister, or that they aren't cute with chubby baby cheeks. What about the (theoretical) two kids whose parents died in a car accident or a fire? Sure there's trauma, but no more than my womb-born child could experience being in a car accident or having one of the family die.
Christ taught the early church to care for the widows and orphans, and a lot of emphasis is put on going out into the square with change, or bringing in wandering street children. Not many people realize that they went out into the square because they already cared for their own people. Early Christians had few possessions, lived either together or in close proximity, provided for and shared with one another. It was the true ideal concept of, perhaps, a commune... a true community. They took care of their own, and -then- moved to the world around them.
So suddenly we find ourselves here through prayer, with a new conviction to begin differently. I've had a number of years working in an educational setting and now feel that we have the skills and connections to provide for a child with more needs than when we began. We put in an email to Child Services here, hoping at the very least to begin the homestudy. We're talking about children age 7 or younger, possibly siblings (no more than two, due to bedroom space). We have time to make those decisions, but less time than we used to. It's terrifying and terribly exciting all at once.Please keep our journey in prayer.
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